Thomas Carpenter

"David H. Koch is a traitor to the United States, and an opponent of democratic values and freedom, worldwide."

"Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

"Alicia is the best bartender, ever. That is all."

"Look at the gigantic pour of bourbon they gave us!"

"Whitney Houston died in room 434. But if you make a pilgrimage, don't knock on the door. A guest may be there. And leave your gravy boat at home."

"You could grow old and doe waiting for them to check you in on your return."