Ben Phillips

"A 3 hour tour begins at 2pm every Saturday for only $20 per person. If he's not off stealing someone's oil or starting another war somewhere, you may even catch a glimpse of the president himself!"

"Great events venue. I Attended the UK face pulling championships on Saturday. The rules need tightening up though. One girl wore so much make up that when I bumped into her, her face actually fell off"

"After dark is when the real fun begins. Flash your lights twice means anyone can come and watch, leaving the window open means they can join in too! Stan Collymore spent an entire summer here once."

"Pull on your Pringle, pack your putter, polish your pitching wedge then walk up and down some hills in the rain for an hour looking for your ball. Or buy Tiger Woods '11 for your games console instead"

"A beautiful, recently restored, listed building that's mainly used for.. absolutely nothing. Knock it down and build a McDonalds, that's what I say. That'll keep the kids off the streets"

"Stay low when that bloke who drinks himself silly starts throwing his empty glasses everywhere. Legend has it that the place is named after him.."