Jason Lotkowictz

"Every item in the salad bar is either pickled or bathed in mayonnaise and the jumbo size desserts would be nothing to write home about if it weren't for the heroic amount of artificial flavor baked in"

"Try the spanakopita, it's delicious."

"If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport."

"Decide how bad you really want that burger. If you have 90 minutes to spare, totally worth it!"

"Be prepared to eat A LOT of sandwiches & chips in the weeks following."

"Catch a ride on the Spanish bus and pray to Jesús that the damn thing doesn't break down in an "urban" neighborhood"