John Marachilian

"They don't understand that when someone asks what is in a meal they are supposed to tell you everything that's in it. Never coming back here again."

"To my fellow bounty hunters, this is not a place to drop off the criminals you hunt down. This is not that other prison place. But I did get to sing a few White Snake songs with my last capture."

"Don't actually surf on the bar. They don't like it when you do that. Also the fish tanks are not for swimming in..."

"Don't be surprised when assholes will ignore you when you ask them to move their bags from the bench so you can sit down at your own table."

"Don't worry this isn't the scary house where people.get killed, like in that movie..."

"Make sure to drink the water they give you. It's not meant for you to take home to water your plants."