Glenn Le Santo

"The island's principle natural resources are goose dung and sloes. The national drink is moonshine gin distilled in goose dung fuelled stills."

"Coffee in the in-hotel Costa is ridiculously expensive. Pop across the road to Pret A Porter for more reasonable prices - and better coffee too!"

"a great place for boaters as there are mooring posts alongside the beer garden!"

"Boaters mooring here will enjoy a lovely village community atmosphere!"

"There's a guy in the flats who likes to pose in his pants on his balcony. He's quite fit if you like that sort of thing!"

"The gates won't stay shut, I rope them when solo to give me time to open the sluices"