Mr P

"Here's a helpful protip from Mr P: the grilled artichoke is phenomenal, but it's impossible to look sexy while eating it, so don't order the grilled artichoke if you're trying to get your swerve on."

"The refried beans used to be vegetarian. The refried beans are apparently no longer vegetarian. This is displeasing. Please bring back the vegetarian refried beans!"

"Hey! This place sucks!"

"Eating meat is overrated! Get the Beet Salad! It's dynamite!"

"According to my friend Melvin, the French Dip is the mad suck! Lookout!"

"The Jalepenos Rellenos is awesome."