Scott Hayes

"Great little place, but you gotta know a guy."

"Ask for Gladys. There's no one here by that name, but in the confusion you'll have time to run out without paying. Actually don't do that. I'm writing this from a jail cell. #YOLO"

"Don't order the "Ed's Used Tire Breakfast Sandwich." It's dirty rubber between two slices of rye toast with hollandaise. It's not even on the menu, so this shouldn't be a problem."

"Beautiful bar!!"

"If you're going to park somewhere, make it here. They've got spots for that."

"If you're too lazy to walk across the street, this is the place for you!!"